10 Reasons why the Scandinavian look is not THAT great

So, my look is basically the essence of what everyone connects with the Scandinavians look. That’s me okay? Tall, blond hair, blue/greenish eyes, real viking blood. RAWH! All that. And before you might think that I’m a narcissistic bitch who wants praise for this look even more than it already has been, let me just tell you: I won’t. The cold, scandinavian look is not the best in the world, however sophisticated it may look.

Which brings me to my 10 reasons why the Scandinavian look is not that great (all based on bitter self experience):

1. 10 minutes in the demanding Spring sun and you got yourself a nice pink sunburn. Actually, 7 minutes does the trick most times.
2. Because Scandinavians in general are rather tall, everytime we go travelling to exotic places around the world local people look at us as weird pale giants. Very often they want pictures too so they can tell everybody in the village about that albino yeti they just saw. Pic’s or it didn’t happen!
3. Since we are from the cold north, we get so affected by the darkness and the grey weather that we tend to only wear dark, dull colors. Other people think we are being sophisticated, really we’re just not that creative so we dress like our surroundings.
4. Next one is also about sunburns. Do you have any idea how painful it is to have the sun burn through your blond (basically see-through) hair? You will have to leave your hairbrush for a week or two, that’s for sure. Where is that invention of hairspray with sunprotection? I need it!
5. Blond eyelashes. The reasons why Scandinavian women always wear mascara, since the eyes are basically not visible without it.
6. The natural pale skin is another characteristic with the Scandinavian look. Some call it healthy. I think with all the black clothes we wear we are pushing it to become a whole race of polished goths.
7. Since we are so fond of dark one colored appearances our outfits are rarely that interesting or suprising.
8. We do not really look good in any colors of the sun. Dammit!
9. Our hair changes after the season. From lovely blond highlights in the summer to mousy grey in the winter. Well, who doesn’t like change.
10. Being taller than most women (and half the male population too) makes it less appealing to put on feminine high heels. Ever. #feelingbig